You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
