just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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