his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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