real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
