I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
