dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dick very happy bro
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
