Barsexuality is the new black.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
