dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize