is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
