when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
