The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
