She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So many bounce houses so little time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
