Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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