i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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