So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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