And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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