I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
