gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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