they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
