Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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