Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize