It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
