Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
