We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
smell my finger.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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