It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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