She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
