just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
