How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
