i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
