Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Randomize
