we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
