we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
farters have to be the big spoon...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
