They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
