I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
