He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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