Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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