Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
