I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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