upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
