I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
