wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
did i just pee glitter
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
