my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
