omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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