Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
