Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
