If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
