do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
