TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
