I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
