6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
