Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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