Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize