Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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