We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
