I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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