I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize