i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
