quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
